In transition to 2018, a theme is undeniably reverberating.
2017 fostered a crescendo of empowerment for women to speak out about their experiences and create communal support for other women to open and share with each other, and to shamelessly speak the truth to people about their feminine experiences. #metoo
As Oprah Winfrey accepted the Cecil B. deMille Award at the Golden Globes only a week into 2018, she gave a powerful speech which manifests female empowerment.
A number of women I spoke with this month have shared with me their resolutions for the new year—all regarding speaking the truth and "taking no shit." (Many used this exact phrase.)
I've been holding onto a rope of obligation, and I'm at the end, too. I choose to let go of that rope. I choose to stretch myself outside of what is comfortable and to discipline myself internally, to continue to make change in my life, and to let that change manifest evidently. Here are my resolutions for the new year:
1. Take no shit.
I resent the fact that being good to people is always a priority to me. My old subconscious believed that in order to be good to someone else, I had to sacrifice being good to myself. I have learned that if a person is worth being good to, he or she will not put me in a position where I have to choose between us. From now on, if anyone does put me in that position, I will always choose myself, first.
2. Give no fucks.
I know how to be good to people. I have no control over whether people receive that goodness or put any value on it. I will no longer waste my energy trying to obligate people to receive goodness just because I want them to have goodness in their lives. It is not up to me to manage other people's lives. That energy is better invested in stewarding goodness in my own life. That time and effort belongs to me.
I have nothing to prove. I owe no one an explanation. I know who I am and my life is accountable to no one but me. I will do what I want and trust myself with making good decisions. Life is not a wrong or right; it is a left or right.
3. Tell the truth.
I have kept my mouth shut out of fear, insecurity, and ineffective good intentions, because I wanted to protect people from how other people perceive them. I have covered or kept quiet about the wrong that has been done. I know how to be respectful, tasteful, and use wisdom about the disclosure of information, and I will no longer omit information to "protect" people whom do not deserve that respect. What I thought was protecting people was actually enabling them in their wrong behaviors. I will neither keep quiet about the adversity I face nor will I carry burdens that do not belong to me.
It is time to tell the truth.